(editing as i go)

A planned meeting to show appreciation on one’s thoughtfulness you’ve agreed on a date and the day comes when you hear nothin from the other party. Concern springs into mind since you’ve heard from a friend that people have been fallin under the weather lately & unfortunately so was she. Uncertain you hope for the best but another strikes your thought, you had a clash with another friend in the same circle, you wonder if the former was catching up on all the details or was it corrupted? Again, uncertainty leaves you with your character to only be optimistic, to put your esteem unto the other and give the benefit of a doubt. However, several days passed you hear not an explination not a word. Consequently, you resolve into thinkin that it was what proved to be most comfortable for her to do. You opt to get on with your life, perhaps not wanting to cross path for sometime to only be reminded of that school yard antic and perhaps cool off a little. After all, they were a part of a small group of well trusted friends it would be hard to not get all soaked up with emotions and later on spit out things that may only be regretted. So how do you cope...

“What can i say, things only get better and better despite bein surrounded by
some who been expressing unfounded or inappropriate hatred, and what
could the obvious motive be hmm? Wish i was wrong…really wrong.”

You don’t dig up dirt to throw in random, you don’t judge based on how much u’ve seen and leave the rest to your imagination and act as if you fully understand. You pick up the pieces of what’s left no matter how few good things they were about the person, the relationship, they once meant somethin to you after all. To put as much effort to salvage what maybe is more important than the bodily feelings you experience from your wrong assessments. People hurt people regretfully at times, you don’t assume them much less friends would do things to intentionally hurt you and so hurt ‘em back, it doesn not benefityou, that person nor the friendship. What’s the point of bein mad at all if friendship or love for a friend is really what concerns you the most. I have moments, only moments where i aint the greatest person just like any other.

Judging by the way she’d practically called me a whore and all that nasty stuff and who knows wutelse behind my back, my god and her only giving excuses for her inapproriate reaction and not apologizing, only leaves my critique to observe not a tiny bit of inclination to genuine concern but that of temper and contempt and that pretty much took the edge off that thing called resolve.  I guess that old adage ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ applies to friendship. I rather not have heard anything even if they were already spreading ‘em behind my back, but now considering it came from somebody i have guilessly appointed & agreed to be my trustworthy confidant, hurt me that it literally cuts my breath every single time i get reminded of it…knowing a ‘good friend’ thinks i deserve all that. I ain’t even mad,  i feel deserted and my trust betrayed.

SO…let’s see what Relient K gotta say :

I think you know what I’m getting at
I find it so upsetting that
the memories that you select you keep the bad but the good you just forget

and even though I’m angry I can still say
I know my heart will break the day
when you peel out and drive away
I can’t believe this happened

And all this time I never thought
that all we had would be all for naught

No, I don’t hate you
don’t want to fight you
know I’ll always love you
but right now I just don’t like you
cause you took this too far

Make your decision and don’t you dare think twice
go with your instincts along with some bad advice
this didn’t turn out the way I thought it would at all
you blame me but some of this is still your fault

I tried to move you, but you just wouldn’t budge
I tried to hold your hand but you’d rather hold your grudge
I think you know what I’m getting at
you said goodbye and I just don’t want you regretting that

and wisdom always chooses
these black eyes and these bruises
over the heartache that they say
never completely goes away
(I just can’t believe this happened
and one day we’ll see this come around)

what happened to us
i heard that it’s me we should blame
what happened to us
why didn’t you stop it from turning out this way
and know that I don’t hate you
and know that I don’t want to fight you
and know that I’ll always love you
but right now I just don’t…

…i’m gonna shut up now incase someone goes all pejorative on me again if that’s even a word?*sighs*

I ain’t gonna gloat on ‘em peepz seriously…i’m just way too blessed & i love
you wutever i have so much love in me ever since i was born it humbles me.

I use to have a pet Chick back when i was a young girl in Cairo, called her
Bessy, even let her sleep in my bed at night but sad to say that’s exactly
what had killed her, she likes squeezin herself into me next thing i
know i wake up…*sob* it was a tragic death. Loved her so much for
all i can remember i did mouth-to-mouth on the baby chicken to save her life,
made her drink and gave her feeds despite her struggle for breath,
i know that had prolly only killed her alot quicker but HEY! i made
a coffin like box out of my sisters prescribed asthma meds wrapped it
with tape and it was the nicest chick-coffin god ever saw with his own eyes!

..Didnt’ i just say i’m gonna shut up? OH WAIT a minute
he just said something that made me wanna scream and i now find it so
strenuous to breathe!!!

NOoo….my this is so much to take noo-oohh! lmao!

THANKS FER READING. U HaveA GOOD ONE! <3