At first impression Jane (Bennet) is just an attractive, mild, naive, docile good young woman who lacks the energy and stamina to stand up for what she wants in life and lacks the cleverness or insight to judge other people and recognize their true intentions and character. We might even come to the conclusion that in her effort to be good she refuses to see the obvious and clings to foolish beliefs in spite of blatant evidence to the contrary.

A true appreciation of Jane’s accomplishment must take into account the central role which she herself played. Did Jane actually do anything that led to her own  success? If so, it certainly did not take the form of active scheming or aggressive self-promotion. From start to finish her behavior was impeccably restrained. What, then, precisely was Jane’Âs contribution to her own accomplishment?

We need not doubt the intensity of her interest in Bingley (love interest) or her eagerness to marry at age 23. After the first ball, she frankly acknowledges to her sister her admiration for him. When Bingley returns to London, she is severely disappointed and depressed.

Jane had been raised in a society that held up modesty and passivity as high standards for feminine conduct, and yet we find no one else in the story who comes close to her in meeting the standard. Contrast Jane’s behavior with that of her Mother. Both are perhaps equally eager for the match with Bingley. Mrs. Bennet is unable and unwilling to contain her eagerness. Having pressed  Mr. Bennet to call on Bingley when he first arrived, she openly declares her mercenary ambitions to people. Jane on the other hand refuses to take any initiative that is not thoroughly proper and appropriate. Obviously her expression of interest was sufficient encouragement to Bingley, but from a distance others had difficulty perceiving it.

We fault Jane for not being able to see through intrigues. But her inability was at least partially unwillingness, unwillingness to think negatively about anyone she knows. Everyone else in the story not only is able but almost eager to accuse, scorn or laugh at others. Mrs. Bennet accuses everyone of ruining her schemes. Anyone who tries not to think negatively of other people, suspect, criticize or accuse-especially when things go wrong-will find it almost an impossible exercise in psychological self-restraint. That is Jane’s principal strength; the reason why she is so deeply loved by her sister, attractive to Bingley and ultimately to many.

When Caroline and Darcy take initiative to prevent the relationship from maturing by scurrying Bingley off to London, Jane refuses to suspect or find fault with either Bingley or his companions. Jane’s one concern was that she must not be known as one who sought after Bingley. She made a conscious effort not to pursue him. It is true that after Caroline calls on her at the Gardiner’s house in London, Jane wrote to her sister acknowledging her blind spot. She does so mainly to recognize the wisdom and value of her sister’s advice, rather than to condemn Caroline for what she has done.

We can easily dismiss all those as her immaturity, naivete or downright folly, but Jane’s composure and equanimity are a product of intense psychological self-discipline. She does have an aspiration to fulfill a high ideal, the ideal of being the good and worthy daughter of a respectable gentleman. The capacity not to react in the face of extreme provocation and disappointment, to not complain or condemn others for one’s misfortunes, the refusal to pursue mercenary selfish goals, even to indulge in self-pity are high human endowments which qualify Jane for high accomplishment. Jane has an aspiration, she strives to meet the challenges that confront her by further self-discipline and self-improvement. In this sense, she is one whose accomplishment is directly attributable to her effort for psychological growth.

Basically, global nomads are shifted-around kids who’ve spent significant proportions of their childhoods in countries other than those where their parents have citizenship.

There are all sorts of reasons someone might be a global nomad. Perhaps your parents are missionaries, or one of your parents is a diplomat. Or just one or both of your folks has a job that requires moving to various countries every few years, and feels it’s important to have the family along. Anyone who’s spent several years in a country where neither parent has citizenship, I would count as a global nomad.

You’ll be able to tell someone’s a global nomad when you ask them one EVIL question…..

WHERE ARE YOU FROM????

A true global nomad will get this kind of hunted look, and sort of glance away, and go something like, “Well, I was born in ______ but I’ve lived in ______, ______, and ______, my mom’s from ______, my dad’s from ______, and I’m a citizen of ______. I’ve moved around so much because my (mom is/dad is/parents are) ______.” Fill in the first seven blanks with country names (feel free to add as many more as necessary! or remove one or two), pick mom/dad/both, and name their occupation.

In my case, the blanks are filled in by Philippines, Egypt, Israel, New Zealand, Philippines(x3), dad, and diplomat.

There are some definite pros and cons to being a global nomad.

Pros:

You get to see the world. You’re interested in foreign affairs, not because you’re that type of person, but because you want to see what it’s like in the places you used to live. You learn lots of languages. You experience all sorts of cultures and ways of life. Once you get to college, people think you’re fascinating. You learn how to deal with all sorts of people, from all over the place.

Cons:

You leave your friends all the time (or if they’re nomads, too, they leave you all the time), which means there will never be such things as high school reunions or seeing all your friends at the same time. You don’t really have a place to call home, since you’re partly loyal to all the places you’ve lived and loved. You can’t relate to people in what’s supposed to be your “home country”. You feel like you don’t belong anywhere, really.

But weighing up the pros and cons, I’m glad my parents gave me the opportunity to see so many places and be a part of so many different worlds. I think it’s made me a more interesting person.

And I love meeting other global nomads! They’re the only people who can possibly understand what it’s like! So if you’re a global nomad, hit me a comment! Fill in the blanks! Yeah, I know, you hate the question in red letters. But here’s someone else who isn’t really FROM anywhere. You don’t have to be! Just be yourself.

WHILE WISDOM IS AVAILABLE FOR ALL, you have to reach out to gain it. You have to want it, work for it and treasure it. This requires time and effort. It would be good to ask yourself: ‘What am I really doing with my life? What are my goals? Am I spending a great deal of time on useless things, or am I using the time I have available during my youth to dig for knowledge and wisdom?’ Wisdom is worth more than jewels, and “all other delights themselves cannot be made equal to it.” (Proverbs 8:1, 5, 6, 11) Do you dig for it as you would for silver, or for hidden treasure? Proverbs says: “If you keep seeking for it as for silver and as for hid treasures you keep searching for it, in that case you will understand the fear of Jehovah, and you will find the very knowledge of God. For Jehovah himself gives wisdom; out of his mouth there are knowledge and discernment.” Do you put that kind of effort into learning about God’s Word?—Proverbs 2:4-6.

You may be thinking: ‘But I don’t like to study—reading is such a bore!’ Yet the more you read, the easier reading becomes. The more you learn, the easier learning is. You connect new information with things you already know, and you understand them better. As you make the effort, God blesses you. As your knowledge and understanding grow, you will find great joy in learning, and things you learn from God’s Word will protect you in today’s world. These are not just nice-sounding words or wishes. It is fact, truth, as Proverbs says: “When wisdom enters into your heart and knowledge itself becomes pleasant to your very soul, thinking ability itself will keep guard over you, discernment itself will safeguard you, to deliver you from the bad way, from the man speaking perverse things, from those leaving the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness.”—Proverbs 2:10-13.

Crime Does Not Pay

This book (Proverbs) deals with problems and temptations common to youth not only in Bible times but also today. In today’s cities there are crime, violence, youth gangs and people who prey on the young. What warnings does this ancient book give that will help protect you from such problems?

It warns against becoming involved with the wrong kind of people. It says: “My son, if sinners try to seduce you, do not consent. If they keep saying: ‘Do go with us. . . . Let us find all sorts of precious valuables. Let us fill our houses with spoil. Your lot you ought to cast in among us. Let there come to be just one bag belonging to all of us’—my son, do not go in the way with them. Hold back your foot from their roadway. For their feet are those that run to sheer badness, and they keep hastening to shed blood.”—Proverbs 1:10-16.

Should you come in contact with people who commit crimes, you should flee. Solomon wrote: “Do not be envious of bad men, and do not show yourself craving to get in with them. For despoiling is what their heart keeps meditating, and trouble is what their own lips keep speaking.” (Proverbs 24:1, 2) Remember: Crime does not pay. Even if man does not catch you, God sees. How foolish to lose your everlasting life for a few ill-gotten gains! Proverbs advises youth, as well as older persons: “Into the path of the wicked ones do not enter, and do not walk straight on into the way of the bad ones. Shun it, do not pass along by it; turn aside from it, and pass along. . . . Remove your foot from what is bad.”—Proverbs 4:14, 15, 27.

Moral Temptations

Advertisers use sex to sell their products. Satan has used illicit sex to tempt God’s servants. For example, thousands of Israelites, who had spent long years in the wilderness and finally arrived near the Promised Land, fell into fornication and lost their lives.—Numbers 25:1-9.

People who do not want youth warned about this danger close their eyes to the conditions of today’s world. Filthy magazines, dirty films, sex shops, pornography and prostitution are seen along our public streets. The first few chapters of Proverbs contain strong warning against such immoral temptations.

They tell of an immoral woman who tempts inexperienced youths. We read: “For as a honeycomb the lips of a strange woman keep dripping, and her palate is smoother than oil. But the aftereffect from her is as bitter as wormwood; it is as sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet are descending to death. . . . Keep your way far off from alongside her, and do not get near to the entrance of her house, that you may not give to others your dignity, nor your years to what is cruel.”—Proverbs 5:3-14; 2:16-19; 6:27-29, 32.

They also tell of an “inexperienced” young man, “in want of heart,” who listens to cunning and suggestive ideas and shamelessly loses all control. “By the smoothness of her lips she seduces him. All of a sudden he is going after her, like a bull that comes even to the slaughter, . . . and he has not known that it involves his very soul.” He is not the only one, for “those being killed by her are numerous.”—Proverbs 7:6-27.

While these warnings are addressed to young men, they apply equally to young women. Whatever humans think of the outcome of fornication, God’s view is clear. It is a way of death. It can keep you out of the earthly paradise that God will restore. “What! Do you not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men . . . will inherit God’s kingdom.”—1 Corinthians 6:9, 10; Ephesians 5:5.

No one should feel that applying the Bible’s wise counsel about sexual morality is a burden. It means fewer divorces, fewer broken homes, fewer delinquent children, less prostitution, fewer fits of jealousy, happier families and more joyful lives. In beautiful poetic language Proverbs recommends this wise course. It says not to seek pleasure in the street, neither from an immoral person nor from various persons, thus scattering your springs out-of-doors. It recommends that, when you are married, you rejoice with your own mate, rather than immorally ensnaring yourself with others. Any weakling can give in to the sex urge, but the course of a true Christian is to refrain from sexual relations until marriage and then to enjoy them only with your own marriage mate.—Proverbs 5:15-23.

Work and Pride

Proverbs helps in other ways too. It recommends something that does not enthuse many young people—becoming a hard worker. This applies in school, on a job, or in full-time Christian service. “Go to the ant,” it advises. “See its ways and become wise.” Like a busy ant, the Christian will give an honest day’s work without a boss’ having to watch him.—Proverbs 6:6-11; Ephesians 6:5; Titus 2:9, 10; Hebrews 6:10-12.

Also, it is important to be neither haughty nor a troublemaker. “There are six things that Jehovah does hate; yes, seven are things detestable to his soul: lofty eyes, a false tongue, and hands that are shedding innocent blood, a heart fabricating hurtful schemes, feet that are in a hurry to run to badness, a false witness that launches forth lies, and anyone sending forth contentions among brothers.”—Proverbs 6:16-19.

Your Family

Do not overlook the help you get from your family. Proverbs says: “Observe, O my son, the commandment of your father, and do not forsake the law of your mother. . . . When you walk about, it will lead you; when you lie down, it will stand guard over you; and when you have waked up, it itself will make you its concern.” (Proverbs 6:20-22) This is especially true if your parents are servants of God. But even if they are not believers they have seen many things you have not yet seen, and their guidance can keep you out of a great deal of trouble.

By all means do not let adolescence—the period between being a child and becoming an adult—cause you to pull away from your parents, as so many young people have done. You may think your parents are old-fashioned, or “not with it.” But they can help you keep your balance during this period of change. Talk with them. Try to get them to listen to your problems. They do not want to hobble or cramp you on life’s highway, but they want to help make your course easier. It is true that young people want to do things their way and often resent counsel; yet their being humble will take most of the sting out of it. The humble person knows he makes mistakes, and he appreciates others’ efforts to help. Proverbs says: “Give a reproof [correction] to a wise person and he will love you.”—Proverbs 9:8, 9; Hebrews 12:11; Proverbs 4:10-13.

So, godly wisdom is available for young persons today. Even if you are inexperienced you can learn and understand. Wisdom calls out to you. It speaks about “the foremost things” and “all other delights themselves cannot be made equal to it.” (Proverbs 8:6, 11) To gain knowledge and develop wisdom, you must study and dig, as you would for an exceptional treasure. “The one finding [wisdom] will certainly find life, and gets goodwill from Jehovah.”—Proverbs 8:35.

I HAD such an awful dream. I know she’s smarter in real life than that of what I’d seen in the “rotten” nightmare of mine. But thewatch what you twitter, big sister is watchingdefense is buzzing full on wanting to protect her thinking she’s a babe. And knowing, as personal experience allow me to foresee, that it would be the ‘least’ of what she would want for herself to end up being. But as she is too young to even point a finger to what it is she ‘do want’, such fantasy, a common trend in teenage life these days can easily be taken to have a likely chance of blurring any sensibleness out of an unworldy mind. I rather be on the safe side yet i find it so hard doing so, so helpless not being around her. I will call my mom again tomorrow just about that. ‘Mabagsik’ a term people would deem to be an exaggeration to what is typically seen in the moral conduct of (most) youths today. But on what used to be called moral sensiblities now are merely considered trivial and completely irrelevant to, as they say, ‘our generation’ and therefore profusely ridiculed. What stimulates most mind and heart nowadays are but ignoble preferences and injurious predisposition, lacking honor in every deliberate acts. Something I’ve just recently had my eyes opened to and what’d pretty much drawn me back before my wayward ways continued to dig any deeper, enveloping my being only to wipe off ‘moral truths’ of which have protected me for years. Scolding myself repeatedly  with the words: ‘You knew it and yet you couldn’t see!’ (what I was slowly becoming that is) Anyway, cuttin off the drama here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m goin to get around my plan of posting yung article nung nakaaraang sunday (whoa saan galing yun? naubos ang aking ingles kaya? haha humorin myself) So yeah, cause I found it to be quite informative and could be useful to you too (whoever you are nice enough to read what I have on here you must like me that much-now I’ve prolly scared you off just by saying that :S) Knowledge sharing is fun! Tapos nung public talk di ko maiwasan to laugh (mostly at myself) If I had a penny for the times na natamaan ako I’d be ‘oprah-rich’ (not a wholesome movie reference if you know what I’m talking about) Nevertheless, I take ‘em all to heart as lessons, not gonna deny that I was more than a lil embarrassed the whole time  but then again, it had only left my character to maintain a positive outlook and at the same time be optimistic about moving on ahead or makin progress ‘towards a meaningful and brighter future.’(yes another reference but to a tv commercial or something. I really need to be more creative I know) This might cheese you off but I just have this yearnin feeling for that certain  spirit. D’ya know this song that goes:

Back to life, back to reality.
Back from a fantasy
Yeah Tell me now, take the iniative.
I live at the top of the block
No more room for trouble or fuss
Need a change, a positive change look
Look it´s me writing on the wall
Back to life, back to the day we have
Let´s end this foolish game
Hear me out don´t let it waste away
Make up your mind so I know where I stand

.. However do you want me

.. However do you need me

“True friends give honest opinion, avoids being judgemental.”

(Useful Quotes From Friends)

C. MONO:

“Sometimes it’s good to get rid of a few people in your life. I’ve lost contact with a few friends for the better, real idiots that i
couldn’t stand, they didnt do too many things directly at me, but their personality and way of living I didnt agree with.”

J. WARD:
“You may make some decisions that can really leave a guy left hanging but you dont do it on purpose, you’re a
sweetheart just meant from the time when you just stopped talking to me cause you saw how  much you were liking me…
You’re gorgeous you’re a sweetheart to me your the kindest sweetest most gentle and understanding thing i know. You make the
sun shine inside me when i see you and i see your beautiful smile You need to be worrying about keeping yourself happy so
you can be yourself and a good person to those people around you that are your friends and actually care about you more than
themselves… “

“SHINDLER’s LIST”

Peter POF: Had a conversation with myself about something you asked me when we were watching shinder’s list.. you asked if that’s for real, are ppl really so nasty and i said yes but one doesnt’ understand until really in the situation… been thinking more about that.. it’s so sad and neither one of us can truly comprehent :S Whoachick: comprehend what? Peter POF: people baing nastyWhoachick: You mean vicious, almost animalistic…well, they say we are animals too not that i agree Peter POF: Well i can’t imagine myself shooting someone in the head and not caring and maybe laughing about it like it’s a cool joke.. at the same time i know (intuitively) that other would and do do that and i probably could as well under certain conditions.. it’s really bothering me that i can’t figure out why.. or i dunno.. it’s desturbing me we are animals.. true.. and maybe as an example “i would never kill an animal” and the very second I would be hungry i would have abosolutely no problem killing an animal.. it’s the same idea, you’re right Whoachick: uhm… killin an animal for sustenance is different..i just meant animalistic in nature, heartless, so on so forthPeter POF: Im thinking that when you are put into a situation where you have to choose between extremely hard decisions, the normal thinking process cannot be applied like logic and freedom to walk away and such.. so you take the best action you can at the time.. and from me, sitting in livingroom it’s not fair to judge.. hmm, perhaps too deep for sunday
evening conversation.. sorry :$ how is your broken nail, better? Whoachick: no…it’s not about the best action it’s doing the right thing, to have a justifiable reason Peter POF: but
you may not have choices that are good - that’s why im talking about extreme conditions, it’s situational why ppl do what they do that they would never do in “normal” life.. you know? Whoachick: give me an example then..say pullin a trigger on innocent people for a ‘good’ cause? Peter POF: for example, yes.. kill another or i’ll kill you.. and you already seen me kill 3 other in front of you.. what would you do? and my point, it really doen’t matter what you would say now, because you’re not in the situation.. you’d use logic and reasoning behind your answer.. but when on your knees in the situation, it would be all based on totally different principles.. and it’s easier to corrupt nation than individual.. Whoachick: well true ..but i know hundreds of people who chose to suffer during those times than kill and serve the selfish interest of those men Peter POF: chose to suffer? they did not choose to suffer, they HAD to suffer.. or kill.. that’s the difference.. they didn’t say “i know, i have an idea, i will suffer now..” Whoachick: uhm ..people were put in a situation where they can choose.. with its consequences Peter POF: this is where i will stop this heated debate, i would have to have you near by to continue Whoachick: ah no Peter POF: this is a very sensitive topic and requires physical presence otherwise lots can be mis-understood and such.. i want to prevent that.. ok? Whoachick: it wont be misunderstood.. so long as we are both conditioned but yeah i’m not in my greatest conversational mood at the moment..as always lol but yeah they had a CHOICE i have an illustration.. Peter POF: what i mean is that talking on msn without physical gestures and tone of the voice etc one can think of something else that the other meant.. but yes, you will never be misunderstood. BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS STOP SAYING WHAT YOU WERE SAYING!!!! buggin ya

“TOUGH LOVE”

Whoachick: Is physical abuse normal between those who claim to be in true love?i know NOT but this girl i know i swear, she’s all ‘oh we love each other we grab each other’s throat but next thing u know we’re back in each other’s arm till a few minutes later where we’d start arguing again..we can’t live w/o each other, so in love *sigh*’8-)Peter POF: Can’t really tell. Love comes in various forms.. both love and hate are the same thing, only opposite spectrum.. it’s like plus and minus, hot and cold, black and white - same things, different level.. just like pleasure and pain (physically) is the same. if I gently tickle you it feels nice, when i press harder it’s annoying and when i press harder it hurts.. but it’s still the same thing.. i probably didn’t answer
your question, but i think it’s hard to answer And if i were to be the first one to know, then i guess i’ll just be waiting around to see if I will know Whoachick: I cant believe you said that Relationships are about trust and mutual respect. Peter POF: What was the question? You made a statement that she likes the love and hate relationship.. some couples are like that.. some even enjoy tourture in sex, some girls like to be slapped and abused and love their guys for it.. ppl are weird, Kate.. there is no right answer that would apply to all.. sorry, can’t respond one way or another.. i could say how i see it relationship from my perspective, what i would like
and how i would deal with situations.. but can’t speak for other ppl and tell them they are wrong doing what they are doing, you know? Whoachick: I just meant, no one who claim to be in true love can really say that they love their partner if he/she abuses him/her. If they were to mistreat their partner, of what value would all his other good works be? Many who claim to be inlove and yet who repeatedly and unrepentantly gives in to fits of anger does not understand enough the
true meaning of LOVE ……. Yes i agree..it is common and some make it seem normal and cute in the movies infact, it is considered ‘A Legacy in Silence’ that is to say, any physical abuse in a relationship. There is simply no such thing as “acceptable” battering in any type of relationship. A common misconception. But yeah, in most cases victims turn out to be responsible for provokin it too, most of whom are young think that it is common anyway, another proof of the worsening of moral climate in this space age. Never had anything physical in the past with
the first and only longterm relationship I ever had, and can count the times I’ve ever raised my voice, does that make me inexperienced and clueless with relationships cuz i never had to go to that extreme to show how much i cared and how much any problem, misunderstanding, big
or small affected me?Peter POF: I think we are in agreement on one point here - ppl have no idea what love is.. my defition of love is ” when i am on my death bed, i can look into my wife after 30 years of being with her and tell her – you were a pain in the ass but i would never change a moment in my life for another moment without you” - that’s love! Whoachick: True noone’s perfect but there’s more to LOVE than mere emotions.. it should be guided by principles. Peter POF: Doesnt’ make you inexperienced, - well may be.. but it depends on the partner you choose that’s why i am saying that ppl don’t know the meaning of respect, personal responsibility and commitment, therefore they CANNOT love.. they only love the situation they are in and they
LUST.. not love.. loving couples have no need for violent acts – the opposing term for that is HATE (opposite from love, opposite from pleasure (pain)..

“MORE”

“I’ve never been this emotionally challenged…”
(Its ok to be like this, its all in the mix of being confused with what you understand, and what seems a blur.)
“Guess I just need to be a lil more patient…”
(Sometimes its better to see whats best for you than what’s fair. You have to
remember whose life is being messed with the most in the end, if
everything doesn’t work out, who’s going to be the one who loses the
most.)
“Haven’t said the L word.. but there are times I couldn’t sleep I want more.”
(Its good that you haven’t, if you dont feel you do then don’t say it, its
not good to say such a powerful word thats been so overly used so
lightly without being meant. You shouldnt commit to someone who isnt
committing to you. One person has to hold back, and that person should
be you not him, he’s the one that has to prove himself not you, you
could find anyone you want, he will probably never find someone like
you again.. Theres two things to do, stick to a goal, and target it to
a time limit. If your expectations drop too far then you should
consider ending it, and he should expect that to happen, he can’t rely
upon you to always take him back because of potential that may never
happen)

Good. But not good enough these days. We live in a new society, as different from the one in which our parents grew up as the computer is different from the typewriter. And the realities of this new society require a new approach to the old concepts of civility. We communicate in new, fast and sometimes jarring ways. The new world of sex and dating is more open but, at the same time, more sensitive than ever before. Family relationships are often more complex, and there are new rules for relating to stepparents and stepchildren, biological and adoptive parents, same-sex couples, and unmarried couples. The shrinking globe and instant communication systems mean that we are called upon more often to respond to difficult situations involving cultural clashes and racial and ethnic diversity. It is a world keyed to speed, skills acquisition, and an “I am my resumé” mentality, where good manners, civility, and etiquette are more important than ever before. Whether or not it’s unfair, people will make a character judgment about you based on how you handle social situations. This can be a crucial factor when your superiors make decisions about how far or how high you can go in an organization. And the rules of etiquette, new and old, must be learned. Once, these rules were learned at home, often around the dinner table. Well, families don’t gather around the dinnner table as regularly or as formally as they once did, and parents in the everybody-works world have little time to conduct lessons in deportment. Even those who have had a good grounding in eitquette need some updating in this rapidly changing world. You do not know these things instinctively, no matter how smart you are. Somebody has to teach you. Somebody had to teach me.

Whatever their source-our svelte new figure, our rousing speech, our fabulous meal-compliments lift us, honor us, and validate our choices and effort. A compliment is a two-way gift that  benifits the giver and recipient alike.Compliments are always social proper, if sincerely extended and kept appropriate to context. (More on this later) If someone always looks great, tell him or her. If someone is always efficient, acknowledge that. Compliments can break the ice with a stranger, defuse stress, life spirits, or tighten a bond. The right words at the right time can motivate, comfort, reward, validate, and inspire. However, compliments are not the same as ‘flattery’. Flattery is insincere and excessive. Superfluous compliments are annoying and make others feel as though the giver “expected a receipt,” lamented one writer. “Be sincere, specific, unqualified NEVER COMPARE.”

CRITICIZE ME, and I may not like you.
Whether you deserve it or not, you will be the subject of criticism at one point or another in your life. Be ready. If the criticism is justified, accept it and treat it as a problem that needs to be resolved. Acknowledge that you have a challenge ahead of you and make it clear to the person who pointed out the shortcoming that you intend to address it. If you believe that the criticism is unjustified or delivered harshly or publicly, you have every right to react in a different way. However, if you get angry and start shooting back, you will end up saying things you ill regretand so will the person who offered the criticism in the first place. In this situation it is usually best to put off discussing the matter: “Let’s talk about this when we’re both a little calmer” or “We ought to get together and work this out. What’s a good time for you?” If someone says something critical about you in the presence of others, you can try “freezing” your critic by stoppping whatever you are doing or saying and looking the person dead in the eye for a moment. Or you can say something like “Very little good comes of criticizing in public. Please tell me your objections (or problem) in private.” If you’re not sure that the criticism is justified or if you need time to think it over, you can say, “I’m glad you’re letting me know what’s on your mind. I’d like to tihnk about it and get back to you.” If you know you’ve goofed, it’s sometimes best to just say, “I apologize,” and that’s all. Depending on the situation, something more may be required: “I never intended to (embarrass, upset, offend) you, but I can see that I did, and I’m sorry.” But don’t whine, don’t grovel, and don’t make excuses or try to shift the blame.

OFF TOPIC/ICE BREAKER:

It was eleven in the evening on a cool wednesday of one December. Cate lies lazily on her side in Ross’ bed as she half-mindedly peers at a book infront of her. She can’t remember how long she’d been in that position but her arm where her head rest had already started to feel numb. Letting a heavy sigh she leans back, pushing the book away with disgust. She gently rubs her left elbow with her right hand as she straightens it while staring in space wondering what time it was and if Ross was already making his way home. She’d almost drifted to sleep when a loud bang and sound of heavy footsteps rattled the antique wood furniture where she lay rest. In anticipation she pulls herself up from bed hoping that it was him but only to hear the noise falter as she imagines it making its way to the kitchen. “Must’ve just been one of his roommates,” In effort to shake sleep off she reaches for the book beside her once again. ‘The Seduction Of Water’ the title reads, she picks up where she had left off. The protagonist namely, Iris, takes her in a hotel where she was in for a surprise. In the book the writer describes the uneven emotional high a young woman usually experiences when out in her first official social engagement that is in her case, the uprising bookwriter celebrating her first debut novel. Fallen unconscious of the time Cate jumps at the slight thud of the front door, hearing a great bustle surrounding the arriving host. Ross slips his head through the slightly opened door of the bedroom like a kid cautiously creeping out and away from the ‘it’ player in a game of hide and seek. Gently he pushes himself in.. (more on this later)Getting up she reaches for her shoes on the corner side of the bed with her left foot and started to follow Ross out to the door into the kitchen where a number of voices seem to be coming from. “Hey guys this is Cate, would you like some wine?” She agreed to some and turned her attention to his acquaintances. A perky possibly other than hetero and perhaps even half italian guy with soft kinky hair was the first to offer his hand. ‘Hi, I’m Oly, ’ squinting the eyes among his soft features on her as if in attempt to read the response off her forehead. ‘Hello Oly, Cate.’ Another introduces himself as “J”(?), skinny, much taller pale skinned guy with black eyes and the same hairdo except that his curls were alot frizzed. She began to think that the hairdo was probably a trend to this group. Next was “D”, who seems to be the youngest of them all. “H”, blond, standing tall with average height and built in a pale blue polo shirt his clear skin not hiding the blood on his cheeks also shook her hands. Cate noticed a girl whom she later found out to be named Sam. Long dark brown hair who was either not paying attention or was shying away. She ignores and instead makes her way next to Ross who was at the sink, he handed her her glass and poured some wine in it then to his own. Again she turns around facing the circle of people jeering about some people they knew, Oly’s voice standing out. The wine felt nice and warm in her throat, a relief from the dry and chilly state she was in previously. She felt tempted to close her eyes and be lost in its taste had she only been alone at that moment. She suddenly remembers that she needed to ring her old man to inform him of her late-night affair and return the next day.

Everyone’s eager to head to town for some drinks and dance. Fortunately, it was just walking distance away from where Ross lived. Ross held out his hand and she was only happy to give hers. They were almost skipping their way down to catch up with the rest of them. ‘You okay? So how are you?’ he gently inquires his eyes examining her face. ‘Great, this is actually all pretty exciting, they ALL seem very nice.’ He lets go of her hand raising his arm and rested it around her, pulling her close. She felt his hard body and warmth despite the strong breeze passing against them. ‘Yup, they’re my workmates. They’re pretty pat aye.’ Holding the wine bottle on his other hand, shaking it playfully. ‘Yeah I think so too. So what’s the plan, where do we go first?’ ‘We’ll all go for a drink then maybe go for some dance.. you know we could still go back to my place if you don’t really feel like going tonight’ letting out a faint smile. Puzzled she replies, ‘You’ve asked me that even before we left the house ross, twice. Are you sure it’s me you’re worrying about or..’ He slightly shakes his head, ‘Nah, it’s just I see you wearing high heels.’ Cate playfully shoves him, ‘Oh, don’t worry about me too much, I’m used to it’ she tells him. ‘I’ve been trying to coax you to go dancing with me for ages, it’s good to finally have you come with me tonight. Want more?’ lifting the bottle of wine and holding it up to his ear. The way he looked reminded her of how one could hear the ocean when a large conch shell is propped up in the same postion against their ear. She giggles inwardly and snatches the bottle off of him. (editing as I go)

(Inspired by mKd19 )

All of us, long for the chance to go back to where we made our mistakes and try to pick up again. The opportunity is given to very few. We mostly carry round this unsatisfied desire, and at the back of our minds it nags, and the best we can do is to try to forget it. Why try? Because one may only go on for a certain length of time expending energy and integrity on things unworthy of them…

“You, you’re worth it. There have been too much said and yet not enough. Too much to allow any doubt that you could love me and not enough to assure me that i would be welcome if i wanted to come back to you..I’ve come here now because I think it’s the right thing. Understand me. Understand me once and for all. In you, in all of us, is the same desire to finish what we’ve begun. A tidy mind does not like loose ends…my relationship with you is a loose end-a failure, if you like to put it that way. You’d like to go back and put it right if you could. Only you are not sure but it’s either one way or the other…How can either say exactly where it went wrong? Can either put a finger on the first time either one might have spoken a few ordinary words of sympathy or help, and just didn’t bother…no chance for adjustments, no time to get used to each other and become tolerant of inadequacies. I can’t hope to put into convenient words what is in my mind. You and I, we had a bond, a chemistry-and each other. That’s a relationship which demands everything we’ve got, calls out every ounce of understanding and courage. I think I see in this a chance to win back my self-respect, and I want to take it. If you can’t understand what I mean by trying to win back my self-respect, then there’s nothing doing. If we don’t understand each other even this far, then it wouldn’t be any use continuing. You need me more, as i need you. I know it won’t be all roses, but it’s worth it-it’s worth everything I’ve got.” (And wouldn’t ya know, we lived happily ever since)

CALL ME prude but seriously I have to understand why some even do this? I enjoy wordsmithing or even ‘architexting’ believe me and I know I’m not particularly brilliant at it but isn’t this a lil too much play on words, especially on a previous scarcely lettered expression, OKAY/OK? Is this supposed to be appealing, smart, even cute or something? Or is it an abbreviation I may not be aware of?(oK Kool) Maybe a shortcut cuz I don’t mind shortcuts infact I use ‘em a lot myself but it’d be ridiculous in this case; i.e finger too lazy to shift up a lil to reach an ‘O’ so you hit the key ‘K’ twice or worse, once? What truly concerns me the most is its ‘impersonal’ appeal, let alone the apathetic mood it impresses onto its recipient so to speak. It may not even be entirely proper to use this expression towards a stranger even if they themselves do so. You might as well go “meh whatever..” or “bah to hell with it” if your ‘gentle’ character may dare, as it is already displaying an air of coldness and insincerity.

“It just pisses normal people off and drains the reply of ALL emotion” -urbandictionary.com

I learned of its common use in MMORPG (massive multiplayer online role playing game) and its alarming sway within the independent chatrooms or conversations per se. How would you personally respond to this?